The God (Political) Particle

Instapunk has an interesting post up contrasting liberals’ fascination with government as the cure for all ills with conservatives’ reliance on the individual, and asserting that liberals’ and conservatives’ opposing views correlate with where they stand, respectively, on a spectrum with faith in Christ on one end and the absence thereof on the other.

Liberals are believers in Christian morality who can no longer bring themselves to believe in personal salvation. This is the explanation of their extraordinarily vindictive and hateful bile. They are all jilted lovers. (Why they excuse every manifestation of personal depravity in themselves and celebrate their politicial morality instead. “Teddy Kennedy was a GOOD man…” Really?) They believe in Christ’s message but they hate Christ because he isn’t there, didn’t exist, didn’t rise from the dead, didn’t savethem. It’s that simple. Every dreaded liberal apocalypse from nuclear Armageddon to global warming is just one more variation on original sin. But for them, the new Adam never came and so they wait, like Noah at the high-tech helm of his impossible ark, for the annihiliating rains to come.

Interestingly, this is also the explanation of the rise of a kind of rigid fundamentalism that eschews the philosophy of Christianity in favor of Jesus as a kind of dashboard totem. I’m saved. You’re not. End of story. The liberals think they’re reacting to a simple-minded version of the faith they’ve graduated from in their infinite wisdom, but the truth is they’re responsible for the bogeyman they see in every rural corner of a country they’ve learned to loathe. As they grew rigid and progressively more self-destructive, fundamentalism became the scar tissue of the common folk, a way of protecting themselves against the soul death created by doubt.

Everything else that’s happened in the last hundred or so years flows from this elementary observation. Liberals are the people who became their own version of Christ to save the sinners from themselves. Socialism, fascism, communism are all attempts by human pretenders to the throne of Christ to fill what they perceive as a vaccuum. Their mistakes are all attributable to the fact that men and committees and political parties are no substitute for Christ. Show me a liberal, a leftist, a progressive, etc, and I’ll show you someone who doesn’t really believe, in his heart of hearts, in the salvation offered by Jesus Christ. Their hatred for the believers who oppose them is an irrational fury they cannot contain.

Conservatives are the people who choose to believe in the Christ, as either a human-divine superposition or a parable good enough to be the organizing principle of their lives. Again, it’s that simple. They’re the non-jilted lovers. Yes, they’re also sinners, as we all are, but they accept that. They also accept that things like poverty, disease, misfortune, endless other awful things are inherent in life itself and not the fault of insufficient government control. That’s why the most rigidly braindead of them tithe to their churches.

Instapunk could have quoted Jesus himself here, per Mark 14:7: “For ye have the poor with you always, and whensoever ye will ye may do them good.”

Men who do not believe in God nevertheless feel the need of God and seek to become God or one of his factotums. They’re the danger. Their greatest fear is the lack of belief in their own Godhood. That’s why they turn ugly, controlling, violent, and murderous. But they’re all still Christians. That’s why they keep trying to expand their power. Their awful, debilitating secret is that there’s no Christ and so they have to fill in for him.

How should conservatives deal with the left’s disrespect and lack of empathy? By spanking their ass. Like a disappointed Dad. Until it gets so hot and red they call out to God to make it stop. That’s how you learn there are consequences for personal choices that can only be called, uh, poor.

My theory has long been that the divide between Left and Right stems from liberal’s fundamental belief that: (a) government is inherently noble; (b) wealth is inherently bad; and (c) the unwealthy are inherently oppressed.  Instapunk’s theory does a good job of fleshing out part of my theory. Liberals believe government is inherently noble in the same way that Christians believe God is inherently noble.  In effect, liberals substitute ever more government as their God Particle to fill the inexplicable God-void innate to humans worldwide. In that sense, Tim Tebow and Ted Kennedy are basically the same person, except that Ted Kennedy violated his big government principles by deregulating the airline and trucking industries (to all of our benefit), while Tim Tebow is still perfect by Christian standards, to the detriment of the whordes of men and women who want to sleep with him.

Socio-Political